Caring for Someone You Love: Finding Strength and Balance
“To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.” — Tia Walker
Caring for a loved one who’s sick or recovering from surgery is one of the most humbling, heart-opening and rewarding experiences we can have but it is also exhausting. There are good days and not-so-good days, laughter and sometimes tears—but every bit of progress is something to celebrate.
Recently, I’ve been caring for my husband after his kidney transplant. It’s not my first time stepping into the caregiver role; I also care for my mom, who has lived with heart disease for many years. Through these journeys, I’ve learned one essential truth: to care well for someone else, you must first care for yourself.
Caregiving is demanding, both physically and emotionally. To stay strong, I’ve learned to prioritize self-care, ask for and accept help, stay organized, and communicate openly with family and medical teams. After these first six weeks of recovery, I’m grateful to share that my husband’s new kidney is working well; the healing process progresses each day—God has truly blessed us. A few tips to help with your journey:
1. Prioritize Self-Care: This is the hardest part, but it’s also the most important. You really can’t pour from an empty cup.
Take care of your body: Eat well, move your body, and try to get 7–9 hours of sleep.
Stay on top of your own health: Let your doctor know you’re a caregiver and discuss any concerns.
Give yourself breaks: Even a short walk, a quiet cup of coffee, or a few hours of respite care can make a world of difference.
Hold onto your hobbies: Read, paint, meditate, pray—whatever fills your spirit. You’re more than a caregiver; you’re a whole person with your own identity and dreams.
Be kind to yourself: You won’t do everything perfectly—and that’s okay. Guilt and frustration are normal, but don’t let them define your journey.
2. Ask For and Accept Help: This one took me time to learn. People want to help; they just need to know how.
Be specific when you ask—say, “Could you pick up groceries Friday?” instead of “Let me know if you can help.” “Come with me to the next doctor appointment.” “Can you help me organize medications.”
Invite friends and family to pitch in with small but important tasks like laundry, yard work, or errands.
Connect with other caregivers through support groups, online or in person. You’ll find people who truly understand what you’re going through.
3. Stay Organized: A little structure can make a big difference.
Keep a central spot—whether a notebook or digital file—for medication lists, medical team contact information, doctor notes, and emergency contacts.
Set up daily and weekly routines for meals, medications, and appointments. Predictability brings comfort and stability for everyone involved.
Use shared calendars or apps like CaringBridge to coordinate with others and keep everyone in the loop. I personally send text messages to keep family members in the know of important changes and updates.
4. Communicate Openly: Honest communication can ease stress and strengthen relationships.
Involve your loved one in decisions and respect their wishes whenever possible.
Talk openly with family about expectations and responsibilities—clarity prevents misunderstandings.
Go to doctor visits prepared with questions and take notes so you can follow instructions confidently.
Don’t bottle up your emotions. Talk to a friend, counselor, or fellow caregiver. Sometimes, being heard is the best kind of relief.
A Final Thought
Caregiving is an act of love and endurance. It stretches your patience, deepens your compassion, and reminds you of what truly matters. As you care for someone you love, remember—you deserve care too. Take time to rest, restore, and receive help.
If you’re a caregiver, know this: you are not alone. Help, hope, and healing are within reach.